History
Class List
Achievements 
Culture
Birthdays 
Appointments
Movements 
Requiem
Groups 
Personality focus
Humour
• 
Past Glimpses


Related Links
David's Homepage
Canonical List of Medical Humor (Funny Bone)
Stitches Daily E-mail of Medical Humor
Doctor Jokes
 

DIAGNOSIS: DEVITALISED, DEHYDRATED SPOUSE
SECONDARY TO BUSY MEDICAL DOCTOR

RULE/OUT
SUBACUTE COMBINED PARTNER REJECTION FOLLOWING REPEATED EXPOSURE/SENSITIZATION TO CUTE NEW NURSE IN MALE SURGICAL WARD.

IMMEDIATE MANAGEMENT:

OWENS REGIMEN (STANDARD, ACCEPTED)
1. a. One sincere apology, given over 20-30 minutes, statim; administered by face - to - face route, with adequate regard to privacy.
b. Not given with excuses, to avoid reaction.
c. Make up with a peck
d. Examine palms for warmth good prognostic indicator!

2. Good hug / squeeze 2-three times daily
3. Call on cell phone between theatre cases, twice weekly; more if required.
4. Apply compliments, liberally.
5. Dinner at a quiet, tasty restaurant, 4-5/7 after initiation of treatment, ( also may be given pro re nata, with due evaluation of savings and checking a/c status prior to each course /sortie).
6. Further management depends on individual case.
With good compliance, symptoms should begin to disappear within 30 minutes to 30 hours. In severe or longstanding cases, it may be necessary to continue treatment up to 30 days before an adequate response is achieved. However, once symptoms subside, treatment should not be tapered off as this leads to

i. Danger of recurrence
ii. Possible development of refractory state
iii. Possible marital diastases consequent upon (ii) above

Best results have been obtained with strict compliance to the above regimen ( Burrito, M.; 1996).

PROGNOSIS:
Excellent when handled properly.
5 - year survival rate:
varies from center to center but appears higher where there had been aim(s) of permanence, ab initio.

For Sample case history, physical examination, investigations and further management options, visit the site monthly.